Last night was a little surreal.
For starters the weather was dreamy. There were a zillion stars visible and a bright moon shining. The temp was like 65.
We were drawn like magnets to be outside. I secretly after dinner (at least tried to be secret) grabbed Mikes ( my husbands) hand in the kitchen and pulled him to the garage where he ALWAYS has country music playing, which ALWAYS makes me miss my dad.
I wanted to dance.
I wanted him to hold me and to take in the magic of the evening. It was oozing with dreaminess.
Of course… child by child migrated outside and dancing turned into silliness and hearts full of gratitude for what God has done in our lives. It was if everything was in slow motion and God was allowing me to completely soak everything in.
The concoction of the evening ALWAYS makes me FEEL my dad.
Not COINCIDENTALLY my neighbor text me to remind me she would be out of town next week and that I wouldn’t be watching my little blessing, Luke. She also reminded me of his birthday next Thursday and like I ran smack dab into a brick wall it HIT me that…. next week is the week 3 years ago that I lost my daddy.
God had shown me about a month ago HOW my dad died on March 1st and how Luke (LIFE) was born on March 1st. THAT moment was surreal and such a gift and EXTREMELY special BEING that I HEARD God tell me to keep a baby in my home.
Already thinking about my dad as I was dancing with Mike, the realization of next Thursday… made the tangibly sweet moments a little hard.
I miss him so much.
BUT…… his life SAVED mine.
His entrance into Eternity birthed Eternity into my heart and I was given fresh life.
My life is full to the brim with purpose and Hope.
Everything in the world began to look different after this idea and vision was conceived. The things I once valued became foolish in comparison to the TRUTH I was awakened to.
And that in a nutshell, that truth, is the reason we are here and the purpose of our lives.
We are meant to be in RELATIONSHIP with our Father. Talk to Him, hear from Him, and even MORE hearing from Him (LISTENING) because He is a very WISE Father. We can stop rambling like little children and find our security in His presence. HE knows best for our lives.
Surrendering to His authority and obeying His gentle whispers will allow His purpose for our lives to prevail over our small human minded agendas and dreams. If allowed He will use us bigger and do through our lives MORE than we can ever imagine.(Eph.3:20)
I want to die knowing my life was used for His purpose. I refuse to leave this earth any other way.
And in three short years I’ve learned that this way of life doesn’t mean perfect outward circumstances… but a deep and profound hope and joy in the midst of them. I actually think it invites or makes you AWARE of persecution, suffering, trials, strongholds, and discouragement like never before BUT you are MORE aware of Whose hand is leading you through them, and also you become filled with a knowing and confident hope in that the end result is good because your Father who loves us more than our human minds comprehend is the Author! You can trust ALL details to Him! And friends, that is FREEDOM. A freedom that often brings me to my knees.
As layers and layers fall from your heart and eyes His Word and whispers will become so ALIVE, so AUDIBLE and VISIBLE that all you see is Him and not your trouble or anything lurking in the valley your walking through.
You will become so confident in EACH step, each decision, each choice, each response, each answer…. because the God of the UNIVERSE is leading you!
My husband went back inside to help our oldest file his first ever taxes and my littles were lured by the calling of popcorn, chocolate milk and a movie, so momma was alone under the big dark sky in complete solitude.
I walked out to the complete darkness and cried a few tears for my daddy. I told God how much I missed him and to tell him how much I love him. Then I just started saying that I understood ALL that God was leading me to and teaching me. A gentle yes ‘sir’ to my Father. I understand the mission, I understand the plan, and my heart and soul felt so full of gratitude in that weepy moment that my earthly body nearly could not contain it.
It’s those moments I now LIVE for. To be in His presence.
I have to contain and remember it by writing this post.
Then this morning as I was going through all the post over the years ON THIS DAY I was moved by a short clip from Steven Furtick.
Pastor Steven visited my church many years ago at Fellowship of The Woodlands now Woodlands Church and I’ve passionately been devoted to his teachings ever since. That was many years ago.
The clip was about a book that he wrote that is in-scripted on my heart called UNQUALIFIED. I deeply resonated with that book and still do!
So listening this morning I caught something I’ve never caught before.
UNQUALIFIED was released on March 1st.
The day my dad got to step into the literal presence of God, the day our little blessing Luke entered this world, and the day ( out of 365 May I remind you) that God wanted to remind me that UNQUALIFIED is His message to ME and the world! But He so out of this world lovingly made it personal to me.
“ I WILL, Father.”
“I hear You loud and clear and I love You with ALL my being!”
I will! I will fight for your Presence and glory to be known. I will fight to use the platform and influence you bless me with. I MAY be unqualified, but I WILL.”
Thank you Jesus for allowing me to come so close. Without YOU dying on a cross for me… none of this fresh life would be possible. I’m eternally grateful.
“No COINCIDENCES”
Eyes Of A Lion 