I believe that remembering God’s faithfulness and intentionally stopping to ponder what He has done is vital to our walk of Faith.
Every single morning for the past few years I get up and spend quiet time in the Word. When I’m finished I look over all my memories from past years of things I’ve posted in Facebook. God has spoken to me countless times as I’m reminded of where I’ve been.
This morning was one of my favorite little reminders. He was reminding me how He has never left me no matter how many times I couldn’t FEEL Him.
I have had so many high points and blessed seasons in my life, but I’ve also walked through some very dark and difficult seasons. THIS is life for everyone.
But He has been so faithful to hold my hand and lead and comfort me through it all.
I’m going to put the memories here on my blog from Facebook to encourage you to trust Him. Trust Him more today knowing that He loves you and wants to be a part of every single detail of your life. The more of it you surrender to Him the more of Heaven you will see on this Earth.
As a young girl before I was even saved, God gave me a vision of my boys.
During an extremely dark season He gave me a child that overwhelmed me with joy. She was His faithfulness providing light in the darkness.
And I will never forget one particular day in 2012 after spending weeks praying for direction and believing He would show me hearing His voice tell me to have Lilly and putting my desire to adopt to rest because all I ever want is His will for my life. My spirit did FLIPS when He told me He wanted me to have another child of my own. Trusting in Him brought us Lilly.
I asked Him this morning to reveal His heart to me and to show me what He has for me today and as I eagerly leaned in He revealed that He wanted me to receive His love for me by REMEMBERING His faithfulness.
REPOST from 2012-
Something occurred to me this morning… hit me with full force. I’ve often felt extremely blessed to have experienced the “fairytale bliss” of meeting and falling in love with my husband. It was surreal. Better than the movies, and I’ve always cherished that time. The feelings that we felt for each other were intoxicating. And after reading over Valentine’s Day, some love letters that we had written each other, it was very apparent how sickly in love we were.
Fast forward a few years, and to give you a little glimpse into my life right now. I’m feeling very GRATEFUL lately. In fact the word grateful is an understatement. My cup runeth over if you know what I mean. My husband is the beat of my heart everyday. What a great husband and friend I have, never ceases to amaze me…. And in the midst of being in love, and being grateful, my insides are aching for a baby. Aching for another baby with him. I’ve been looking through baby pictures, torturing myself, reminiscing of all the joy in my life when Mike and I met, and when we were BLESSED with my joy baby, and something hit me.
In retrospect…that was the hardest time of Mike’s life, the boy’s life, and MY life, dealing with the boy’s abandonment from their mother. Dealing with all the havoc she wreaked in our lives. Your mouth would hit the floor if I gave detail’s, so I’ll spare you. Just imagine total darkness. Evil. Lies. Heartache. Threats. Court. Fear. Thousands of dollars being spent. A little boy’s life being shattered to pieces…and Mike holding those pieces in his hand’s. Words cannot take you there. Words do not shed a bit of light to what he/we went through.
But in that darkness… God kindled a fire between Mike and I. A fire that kept us warm in that dark, dark place. A fire that drew me into the darkness, and was so full of Gods blessing, I had no desire to leave that warm spot in the dark place. HE held us there through each and every day. The days seemed to drag on with uncertainty , and fear all around us, but we were locked together as one with God’s hand protecting what HE kindled. He was there. If it wasn’t for that drunkenness sort of love… I might have been scared to death, and walked or ran away. Are you following me?
After we had a magical ceremony getting married… all alone…with only God as our witness, we returned to the chaos of trying to keep our babies protected, and keeping Satan UNDER our feet. Then a year later she came. My joy. My addiction. My light! I always call her a little light. I always tell her to be light in the world, and this morning I realize that she IS , and was the light. God gave us/me another light in the darkness. When she was in my belly, and after being born, I was consumed with her. You cannot imagine what she did to my world. Another kindled fire that I clung to. A light. God’s hand. His protection from the storm.
Since that storm, God has blessed us more than we could have EVER imagined. I have more than I deserve. More than I ever even wanted. And most of all we are blessed with LOVE. He healed our broken family, and lead us through trials, strengthened us, and showered us with blessings. Sometimes we wonder where God is in the storm, the hard times…but It’s not until we’ve walked through it, and look back, until we see that He was there the WHOLE time.
Today, the storm that has been brewing in my mind is whether or not to have another precious baby, or to adopt an orphan. (I don’t need opinions, just prayer for God’s perfect will My insides are aching with baby fever. I cannot even tell you the severity! And God has lead me , and opened my eyes to orphans. (Proverbs 24:12) He’s done more than just open my eyes…he just keeps laying things in my path, undeniably His hand at work. So I’ve been torn. I’ve been yearning for clarification. I JUST want it to be HIS will.
Today, I’m choosing to believe that He’s here with me. I mean REALLY believe. He’s here in the storm that’s raging in my mind, and He’ll lead me faithfully to still waters. I’m going to repeat this to myself all day today In the meantime, I’m going to learn more, and share more about being an advocate for God’s precious children that need mommy’s and daddy’s. They need love. They need a family. And WE are God’s hands and feet.<3 ((Prayer would be GREATLY appreciated))
With Love,
Erin
Eyes Of A Lion 