He Has Made Me A Better Mom

The other day was “one of those days” where everything “seemed” to be coming against me.

I wasn’t on the same page with my husband (Like how I worded that nicely?). One of my children was acting not like themselves toward me, but was actually behaving defiant which is not normal. And another child did something that deeply upset me.

Anyone else have those days??

I don’t have them often but I’ve learned when everything in me feels overwhelmed and like lashing out in anger, it’s the very thing I DON’T need to do.

I was feeling very angry and very hurt and my woe is me and how dare you feelings were trying to take over.

I NOW know that these are my OPPORTUNITIES to use my faith.

It’s the same as training, training, and training for the competition against your rival, and the moment you have been training for is upon you.

Instead of acting out of the emotions I was strongly feeling, I paused and I prayed. I went for a walk and sat outside talking to Papa.

Not so long ago I would of called family or a friend and asked for advice.

Now His heart and direction is what I want most. I seek it first and I’ve learned that He is so faithful. He’s there just waiting like a loving Father. I can sit with Him and NOT just pour out my heart, but hear His answer and direction.

When hearing His voice is the most important thing in your life, you will hear Him. He isn’t just a sounding board for your troubles. He answers. He loves and comforts. And He will tell you what to do.

My heart was aching and feeling overwhelmed so I told Him about it. Then I listened.

I sat in the quiet outside under the sky and I told Him I needed to hear Him. I needed direction because I knew what I was “feeling” could potentially make a mess of things.

I imagined what I wanted the issue with one particular child to look like. I was conflicted with whether to give a consequence to the wrong behavior (which I believe in but isn’t always the right action to take) OR to share my hurt heart and disappointment in love. I love this child so much it hurts and I care more about the relationship than I do just being a parent barking rules and then punishing them when they mess up. My heart was truly burdened and I needed guidance.

I imagined what the perfect scenario would be and tried to feel what it happening that way would feel like. Then I imagined it happening.

Then in an instant I heard my answer from Papa.

I questioned His answer a teeny bit, and then I heard His sweet assuring voice again.

Oh my word He is so good to me.

Then as if His answer wasn’t enough, He painted the sunset red right before my eyes. This was Him affirming me to leave no doubt in my mind.

His love and goodness leaves me undone.

I followed His instruction and the result was NOT what I was fearing and what I expected, but EXACTLY what I imagined and hoped for.

I was feeling so much love from my Father and His never ending faithfulness to me that fear of the other issues with other family members melted away and guess what?

Perfect love cast out fear.

And guess what else? I had just experienced God’s love in me, and for me, and my mind was made up that it was true for my other situations within my family as well. When you believe it and fix your mind on it, it happens no matter what it looks like.

God is for us and just waiting for our trust. He’s so so good.

We can’t even imagine how much He loves us and wants us to live in FREEDOM. His hand is reaching out and waiting for us to take hold of it and to walk with Him in this life HERE until one day we will be walking with Him forever.

Walk in love with Him. It’s the best adventure.