Notes for My Lilly Belle

When Lilly is sick and feeling her absolute worst she has me pray over her continuously. She even prays out loud over herself. It’s a pretty demanding I know you can heal me Lord so do it!

When she was very sick here recently after praying over her I whispered sweetly in her ear when she was frustrated with why she wasn’t better…

“Mommy believes sometimes that God doesn’t cause our sickness but that just like storms in our lives that he might be allowing us to be in them so that we might look to him. I believe sometimes he wants us to slow down and be in the present moment. Exit our fast cycle of living. Take inventory on what’s right in front of us. Rest. Be still. Listen. Let others nurture us.”

She listened intently then drifted off to sleep.

A couple of weeks ago I was very sick. I suffered a brutal virus that I’m still fighting getting over.

One day I was still feeling pretty yucky but had to go to work. Lilly felt bad for me and I asked her if she would pray for my day. She placed her hand on my head and prayed. And right after her prayer she sweetly said, “Mommy, remember that God might want you to slow down today. Just move slow and trust him. Pay close attention to all that is around you and know he is with you.”

Insert a hundred crying emojis.

Time stood still as I gazed in her big brown eyes in disbelief of the beautiful words that fell out of her mouth and seared my heart. They were exactly the words I needed to hear.

The Holy Spirit has spoken through this child to me more times than I can count now. Her spiritual insight is off the charts.

Lilly deeply desires to have an identity with a sport or talent. A visible gift. She looks up to her older siblings who are very gifted and wants to “have gifts” as they have had. No doubt they set the bar high. Each of their gifts have been very evident. I too have watched them in innocent envy myself. But mark my words. ONE of Lilly’s most valuable gifts isn’t as easily seen as the gifts and talents we are used to seeing. It’s a sacred gift that can’t even be measured by earthly standards. She is very much a typical 9 year old little girl but she is also a vessel being greatly used by the Holy Spirit. I’ve witnessed it since she was a baby.

She may not understand now or even be grateful for this sacred gift yet but oh what a gift to me to get to watch God use her and to watch this blossom.

A couple of days ago when I was getting ready for work I watched my very loved watch take its last tick. And then when I went to put on my VERY loved and favorite angel ring that I wear everyday I noticed it was broken. This was all at the same TIME.

When Lilly got home from school and I told her that they both broke at the same time, she immediately said with her eyes as big as quarters, “OH MY GOSH! I wonder what that means?! I wonder what God is telling you?”

Just that response means everything to me. She is alert to heavens movements. She knows God is always speaking and loves to get our attention through little signs. Sometimes when we are alerted it’s him speaking and sometimes it isn’t but what matters is that we are always tuned in and always seeking.

It was such a gift to me to hear her say those words.

Lilly Belle you may not see your gifts but I do and they are divine and so inspiring. One day you will see them too and know how blessed you are. Just keep your eyes on Jesus, keep looking to Heaven, and keep being an amazing little fireball full of energy and life. I love you more than you will ever know.