Eyes Of A Lion

I just had revelation about something that was so powerful.

Yesterday my pastor/neighbor/mentor friend and I finally were able to sit for a bit and catch up on each others lives.

She was asking me how it was going attending The Crossing Church as it is new to my family.

I explained how much I LOVED it and especially being together as a family (as this was not possible the 3 years I taught in the Children’s Ministry.)

Finding something for us all was something that had been on my heart for a long time. But I told her how I also longed to worship freely and loved visiting ” more spirited” church’s. I love seeing miracles and healings and and feeling the heaviness and move of the Holy Spirit. I love worshipping and seeking His presence knowing everyone else is doing the same thing.

Really, I just LOVE church. But it feels so amazing when your in church encountering the Holy Spirit and passionately worshipping.

Anyway, I feel like I have to tread lightly on what I’m trying to say but hopefully you get my heart.

My friend and I were discussing how important it is to be in a church home that is honoring the whole family and that is why The Crossing is such an amazing fit for us.

This morning I asked God to reveal His heart to me fully being expectant to hear His voice. Maybe not in that moment, but I would be on high alert all day expecting His answer. I knew He would show me.

And may I just give some friendly advice that might help you on your journey. My Papa is crazy in love with His children. So much that as we desire to know His heart It often results in Him reconstructing ours. I have prayed so many times for God to change peoples heart or to help them have understanding and I have heard Him say so many times, “Kiddo, let me lovingly mold your heart into a likeness of mine and then then you will begin seeing hearts around you change.”

So later I was listening to a podcast and He showed me something profound. I KNEW it was an answer to my prayer and that He was showing me His heart.

When He speaks it’s as if time stands still for a moment. It takes that moment for my mind to register my Creators communication. It’s as if His thundering whisper rocks me to my core and suddenly nothing else in the world matters.

This is what He revealed about His heart and then mine.

The verse is Luke 18:8.

“When the Son of man comes back will He find anyone in faith?”

Will He find anyone OPERATING in faith towards the Lord?

Will He find a people exercising in their faith towards the PROMISES of God’s word?

The teaching went on to say, “We love the movings of the Holy Spirit which is important. We love (the feeling) and the experience we come into though sometimes rather than to actually walk by FAITH and not by SIGHT and just believing the raw integrity of God’s word and APPLYING the principles of those words to our faith towards God!”

Ouch.

We need to become strengthened in that whether we have “an experience” or not, a vision or not, a dream or not, or a prophetic word or not, a “feeling” or not.

We just need to STAND upon what God has promised.

Papa asked me, “Kiddo, will you be a daughter who no matter WHAT just walks completely by faith and STANDS radically on my word and my promises?”

He right then and there answered my prayer by revealing His heart AND mine.

Friends, He is so patient and so loving. He never gives up on me.

I will admit sadly that this is not the first time that He has specifically asked this of ME. Oh how easily we are lead astray and let flesh lead. This is why we DEPEND on Him through an intimate relationship moment to moment letting the Holy Spirit lead and correct.

This intimacy is His desire for His children. This is WHY He sent His son to the cross. This was the example Jesus made for us.

Jesus was only about His Fathers business and was in an intimate relationship with Him.

Jesus came to die on a cross so that we would be ABLE to be filled with the Holy Spirit and have the same intimacy with His Father.

Jesus THIRST for this devotion from us. He longs for us to receive His truth and receive His grace. He’s offering and waiting.

When we say “yes” we begin to let Heaven invade our world. When we STAND Heaven becomes our reality.

I woke this morning with a bit of a heavy heart and I was really desiring to hear from God in my quiet time.

This weekend I had invited two friends from a relatively new job to see James Maloney at a church I had recently discovered. I had never seen him but I have been to see Bill Johnson so I knew what to expect and knew what an honor it would be to experience him.

I knew they HAD NOT experienced anything like this.

I adore these two women and KNOW how God lead me to this job 100% and to these relationships I’m building.

After the service and the next day I had text them both twice and never heard anything from them. I began feeling heavy wondering if it was too much and if I had done something wrong. Of course those bad voices began plaguing my mind of what a fool I was, and how I’m going to be wearing my “she’s crazy” sign at work now.

I told God, “Father, I believe in ALL of it. I believe in ALL the more you have for us. I believe in ALL the supernatural. I believe in ALL the miracles and miraculous healings. I believe in ALL the GIFTS of the kingdom that you give each one of us to steward. I believe in Angels! And I believe in every single thing written in your Word, so why do I “feel” this heaviness? Did I do something wrong?

I had just heard Him tell me a couple weeks ago while reading scripture that He wanted me to shine and not be HIDDEN. It was heard loud and clear. I even wrote it down exactly what I heard Him say.

Later that day He even affirmed that I was hearing from Him by showing me something in the sky. (I know that may sound silly but He speaks to me through so many things. It’s just our language to each other.)

I didn’t know it THEN but that WORD from Him was for today.

He said to me, “ Kiddo, you go to that job I lead you to with your smile on your face and love in your heart just like you always do.”

His LOVE astounds me.

On another note one of my children is having health issues that are FEELING hopeless like there is no solution.

As I was into my quiet time I began listening to a little clip from Graham Cooke that was about applying the specific PROMISES that God has given to you personally.

I KNOW this. I KNOW to do this. So why do I so easily forget?

Luke 1:37 is a verse God has given to my life and He’s gone to great lengths to make sure that I know that. It’s been given to me randomly from close believer friends. It’s been prophesied over me. It’s been given to me by a stranger. And when I see it it’s as if God illuminates it for me.

And as I said, recently He told me He didn’t want me to be hidden.

Well while reading today’s devotion from Pastor Dave a couple of words leapt OFF the page and INTO my heart like a jolt of lightening.

Suddenly my heart was overflowing with joy as if someone slapped me to my senses.

Pastor Dave was talking about Jesus being the Light of the world. Suddenly I remembered what He had told me about being a LIGHT for Him.

Then I heard Him whisper to my heart.

“Erin, you know I’ve made you wired for my Kingdom. I’ve told you that I do not want you to hide what is inside of you. It’s not meant to be hidden. I made you to be brave and SHINE not to walk in fear or doubt.” My confidence immediately boosted.

He had ALREADY spoke this to me and SHOWED me about not being hidden. How in the world could I have so easily forgotten?!?! And how come I so naturally FELT like hiding???!

Then Pastor Dave went on to quote Lisa Bevere saying, “our God loves triumphing over what looks IMPOSSIBLE.”

There was THAT word. And when I read it in the devotion it seared my heart.

How many times had I prayed for my child telling myself that it seemed hopeless… that figuring it out seemed “impossible.”

I felt the Holy Spirit say, “Hello?!? REMEMBER how you were JUST reminded to take your special promises and STAND on them?!

As I was having these revelations and making the connections I imagined myself worshiping at His feet for the grace and mercy He gives me. I am so grateful for His patience.

I heard Him saying, “Erin, you have to trust in Me more than what you SEE.” Again another thing He has had to repeatedly remind me of.

He just told me a week or so ago that He was training me and transforming me in this season of learning, to DO NOTHING and just REST and BE WITH Him.

I am certainly LEARNING and growing and I’m so thankful for these revelations.

I went in and prayed a prayer with confidence over my child with a big smile on my face and a super grateful heart. I felt like I had been set free and could see Him coming out of that dark! The devotion I was reading was using this illustration.

The LIGHT was coming and that darkness had to flee!

And I HAD been set free from those toxic thoughts.

I immediately began declaring out loud that NOTHING was impossible for Him and that in Him complete answers are found and healing is released! I lifted these situations up to Him and told Him I believe!

When we come and rest and stand on those specific promises He gives us, all the confidence that God has in his word comes to us.

I claimed it all with pure joy in my heart and lost all fear of BOTH of those issues!

Oh what it does to hear His voice.

It’s what I live for.

If you start out your day asking Him what His heart is for today, and asking Him how He wants to use you, He is always faithful to show you. Ask Him what His heart is for you and if He wants to reveal anything that might be keeping you from hearing from Him and having intimacy with Him. He will always show you!

He loves revealing mystery AND truth to His children. He’s the most amazing Father!

Aussie Dave’s Daily Devotions on Instagram are a everyday discipline for me. His devotions have taught me so much and God has spoken to me numerous times while reading them so I always recommend them to everyone!

And a very short P.S. because I don’t want it to ever be a focus… THOSE where lies of the enemy I was hearing and the very reason I felt insecure and like hiding. When you are thinking toxic thoughts, anything negative, anything destructive, anything that DOESN’T line up with God’s word, get rid of it! Recognize it’s not of God and be relentless in shutting down Satan’s ploy.

“So Timothy, my son, I am entrusting you with this responsibility, in keeping with the very first prophecies that were spoken over your life, and are now in the process of fulfillment in this great work of ministry, in keeping with the prophecies spoken over you. With this encouragement use your prophecies as weapons as you wage spiritual warfare by faith and with a clean conscience. For there are many who reject these virtues and are now destitute of the true faith,”

‭‭1 Timothy‬ ‭1:18-19‬ ‭TPT‬‬

I wanted to share a little story of God’s faithfulness in the wee details ( in the grind) of life. The first week of kindergarten for Lilly was great and smooth until FRIDAY. Friday hit and I think she was just exhausted. The nurse called me and told me she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to come home. He assured me that this was normal and for me to feel  free to come and get her. I really wanted ( he) and her teacher to try and just encourage her first before I rushed to get her because I didn’t want to myself encourage this routine. She was homesick (and her teacher she adores was out sick ) she is prone to upsetting herself and it affecting her tummy.  Truth be told I was probably missing her even more than she was missing me. The nurse called again a bit later and I decided to go and get her and lavish her with love. It had been a rough day on us both.

Sunday she woke up not feeling good and with a noticeable cold so you can imagine what Monday was going to be like. She woke up Monday NO DOUBT not feeling good, WANTING to stay home, and refusing to go to school. Homesickness combined with sickness but no fever. I knew this meant over the week it was only going to probably get worse. This parenting stuff is NO JOKE. I had to do what I felt in my heart and I felt I should make her at least TRY and not encourage staying home. Lilly was literally refusing. She was crying. Ignoring me and at one point literally laid on the bed stiff as a board and REFUSED to move. Sigh…. It was KILLING me. I wanted to just snuggle her up and keep her home. I turned around for something and she had run away in a split second and had made a dash to the living room and again refused to move. I was lovingly trying to encourage her. As she was slowly coming around she asked me to make up a sweet song for her so “she could tuck it in her heart for today.” I (fighting back tears myself) picked her up and held her and rocked her and sang her a song. I sang of how special she was, how brave she was, and how amazing today was going to be, and how mommy would NEVER be far away and I’d be praying and thinking about her all day. I finally got her out the door with her hippo heating bad for her hurting tummy and in the car we prayed. We prayed for God to turn all the mess around and make Lilly feel better. We prayed for her class and teacher, and we prayed for above everything to see God in our day and to see and feel His closeness. I began preaching to her and making declarations over her as we pulled into the school. I told her how special she was and how God, her heavenly Poppa, had a super special PLAN for her life and that she had to TRUST Him. I told her how infectious her joy was and how her class and people who God puts in her path NEEDS that joy.  I reminded her of all her gifts and how God wants her to USE them, but how if she stayed in the COMFORT of home, it would be hard for God to put those gifts to use. I told her “it was time.”  It was time to be BRAVE and step out and let God use her. I told her that she was made to shine His light. She was made to share the joy of knowing Him. She was made to be a prayer warrior. She was made to declare healing over the people God puts in her path. She was made to be a leader. I assured her God had an amazing plan and that He wouldn’t let her down just to hear Him and obey Him and He would comfort and help her.

When we walked into school we went to the nurse to inform him of her not feeling well. I asked if her teacher was back to which her said no. He said he was reading as we walked in an email from her stating she had strep. My heart sunk. Lilly was still lightly crying and THEN after knowing her teacher wasn’t there REALLY didn’t want to go. The nurse assured me it was ok to take her home, but I really didn’t want to encourage that. I so badly wanted her to be brave and at least TRY. So I assured her if she got ANY worse I would be RIGHT there to get her. Reluctantly she obliged. Her nurse, Mr. Boyd who is AMAZING, let her put her hippo to bed, and we all three walked her to her room. As we were approaching her room a dear friend who is a teacher/leader/employee at the school and a personal friend barges through the doors and says, “LILLY!!!! I am SO HAPPY to see you!!!! Guess what I JUST got? I JUST got a text from your TEACHER saying YOU were not here today and she was REALLY sad.” She gave Lilly the most affectionate embrace and showed her the text and about that second HER TEACHER, who WAS there after all, stuck her head out the door to find us all talking and said, “LILLY!!! I’m so glad you’re here!” Lilly’s whole demeanor changed. Those two angels in those fleeting moments filled her heart with love and assurance. I had to kiss her and walk away because the water works were coming. I was OVERWHELMED at God’s goodness and I cried the whole way to the car. I cried in the car. And I cried all the way to the nearby salon were I parked and just repeatedly thanked Him for His goodness. I had my head on the steering wheel and just praised Him. I told Him that all I wanted was to be close to Him. He could have my whole heart, all my dreams, and the whole day in front of me. I asked Him to let Heaven invade earth through my day and to please let me walk closely with Him carefully following His lead, because NOTHING in life is sweeter. He is near, His Kingdom is HERE, and He wants us to walk in the abundance of His love KNOWING our identity, freedom, inheritance, and peace. It’s ours. It’s ours even though we do not deserve it.

I went in and got my toes done looking for someone to love for Him. Looking for someone to hug or encourage. I got my toes done by this super sweet lady that spoke no English so I gave her love with a tip and I hugged her tight. I left feeling like a new person and decided to walk in to a Rustic Décor place next door to the salon. Shortly after looking around the quiet shop I was about to walk out and decided to speak to the sweet girl at the desk. She began telling me how working there was new and the story behind beginning the job. An hour and half later it was VERY CLEAR how God lead me to her. She was in the extremely painful experience of grieving the sudden loss of her mother, and as most of you know I had a story to tell. Actually, GOD had a story to tell her. I just had to be willing. I shared HOPE and I shared what God had been teaching me. SEEING God in this WHOLE conversation brought her to tears. We were both in AWE. It was unbelievable.

I left feeling like I needed to pinch myself. The whole morning was not anything as I would have planned and was I ever SO THANKFUL. When you invite Him into every moment and are willing to surrender your plans and comfort and routines…. You get to see the Kingdom in living color. I can’t even type these words with crying tears of gratitude.

The rest of the day even though it was flowing different than I planned… I KNEW it was going to be ok. Chores would eventually get done, and dinner would be perfect. A situation arouse at home where the girls and I prayed and AGAIN  and saw God’s peace and answer. He NEVER leaves us. EVER.  Even when we don’t see Him if we turn our attention to Him and “walk in faith” we can rest assured that HE SEES US and is working on our behalf. As the sun set on our evening my heart was singing songs of thankfulness. And this is what He wants our EVERY DAY to look like! He wants us to know the JOY and LOVE of walking intimately with Him TRUSTING Him with the ever so seemingly small details. Nothing about our lives is small to Him.

As I was thinking about what I KNOW was the Holy Spirit encouraging Lilly on the way to school, it hit me that those words were FOR ME too. The Holy Spirit was breathing words of encouragement through me AND TO me. As I embark on an adventure to work part time in a preschool, my sweet Father was saying, “Go. Be BRAVE. It’s TIME. I have a plan. I’ve shown you My hand in it. There are people who NEED the gifts I’ve given you. There are people your meant to meet. There are people who YOU need. There are paths that are going to cross. But FIRST… You must TRUST me with ALL your heart and get out of your comfort and GO.”

He NEVER ceases to AMAZE me. He gives me over flowing JOY even in the midst of chaos.

I wrote this post 2014. I love looking back at photos, journal entries, and old post to see God’s faithfulness.-

Speaking my heart isn’t always easy for me. I do it because I feel LED and TAUGHT to share to possibly help someone, or teach from my experience. This morning as I’m nearing the end of an extensive study, I’m feeling the kind of thankfulness that my human flesh almost cannot contain. Jesus has brought me so far, and taught me so much. I truly was BLIND and now I SEE. And because of that, I owe Him my LIFE. There was a time when He captured my attention. I fell in love with Him. I got baptized. I went to church. I was STARVING for His word. I felt SAFE in His arms. I gave Him my attention, but in SO many ways I was denying Him with my heart. I was denying Him with my SELF. I was denying Him with my words. I was denying Him with some of my practices, habits, and my thinking that I could have “both” sort of lifestyle. But what I’m thankful for this morning, is that HE NEVER GAVE UP ON ME! I want to slap my old self!

I would fall and He would pick me up. I would get broken, and He would pick up the pieces. He redeemed me, and only God knows why. I was a pathetic believer. I was an even more pathetic FOLLOWER. I will spend the rest of my life on this earth waking up each morning surrendering my SELF to Him, because I am NOTHING without Him. He SAVED me.

He calls His children to be set apart, and to be known by the marks that distinguish His kingdom. He calls us to make a stand. We should BE different… look different… and even look foolish to the WORLD….for His sake. And we should be willing to share and confess Him to others boldly with no fear even when its out of our comfort. This is our calling as followers. We don’t just receive all this undeserved grace and end it there. We give it away to others in return. We do the things Jesus did. We take courage and we go. We take courage and we share.

Just another morning of being flooded with thankfulness…. JESUS IS my One and Only.

Personally experiencing a devastating loss was my bridge into having my eyes opened to my purpose and my destiny.

I really dig this because it allowed my pain to not be deemed worthless but redeemed and purposeful.

My dad is Home now and is living in all TRUTH and goodness and I believe his deepest wish is that I would, and all his loved ones would, take hold of the Truth and not waste another moment doing it.

The CROSS and suffering on the cross was necessary to bring my ETERNAL hope.

The death and crucifixion TRANSFORMS sin and death INTO LIFE and liberty. A fresh life. A true life. A life so worth living with purpose and power.

Sometimes the mission or our AWARENESS of it can be born out of our deepest PAIN and suffering.

This is MY story.

My Father in Heaven redeems.

I didn’t just survive the loss of my dad.

I was transformed in light of it.

Because of sin there is DEATH.

But because of Jesus and the cross there is hope and resurrection.

Jesus took the sting out of my LOSS and gave me wisdom, understanding, and joy. He opened my eyes to eternity and revealed my purpose. He showed me the purpose of life, called me brave, sat me back on the ground after taking care of my hurt and wounds and said, “ Now go little one. I’m here, I’ve got your back. Go teach what I’m showing you and what I reveal to you. I never lose and no matter what the situation LOOKS and FEELS like you never lose either. The victory is ours. So go run and fight in My strength and with the power of the Holy Spirit that I have placed inside you. You WILL have many battles, but remember  I have conquered the world.”

” I BELIEVE in you, and I’m always WITH you. Keep speaking My holy Word aloud and you will always have the fiercest weapon. Let it consume your thoughts and renew your carnal way of thinking. Let what’s left of your life on this earth make a difference for my Kingdom there on earth AND in Eternity. I made you a fighter AND a lover. Only what you do for Me will last. Love Me Most with ALL your heart and never be afraid to do the things I show you. I will LEAD you and allow you to do things that only I could possibly do and accomplish. You doing them will bring Me and My Kingdom great glory.”

“Winning lost souls in the dark over to this Light is your purpose. Start with what’s before you. Be faithful with what’s in your hand and I will make you prosperous. And don’t forget that with Me…. NOTHING is impossible.”

With gentle hands He whispers again, “Now go. Be a light and teach what I’ve shown you.”

I began to rise out of mourning with a spine of steel; Standing back up with vision and dreams, purpose and identity, authority and power. I started running toward those scary things with a fire in my heart and a feeling of faithfulness and love like never before, and with a determination to be relentlessly obedient.

I have the BEST Father. He alone is my reason for living. It’s an honor to get to be His daughter. I’m not afraid, and I will FIGHT the darkness for Him because He promised I would never lose and that He would NEVER forsake me as I keep remembering, fighting and obeying. He is faithfully leading me Home.

Over the last 3 years I’ve talked a lot about the death of my dad only because of what God did THROUGH losing him.

I know there is loss everywhere and in different forms. It’s part of THIS world we live in. I don’t think my personal loss is any more important than any other. I don’t think mine is special or more significant. But I do think the VICTORY through it is worth singing about and sharing all the rest of my days.

God has a plan to redeem ALL our brokenness and blindness. He wants to restore ALL that was lost to suffering and heartache.

My question is what darkness in your life could He be wanting to redeem?

Have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. Choose to have FAITH and trust Him.

He is a gentleman and won’t force Himself upon you but if you look to Him and seek Him in your situation and life… He will gently redeem you and your darkness.

He is only Life, Light, and Truth.

He IS the perfect Father and He loves His children dearly.

I am completely captivated by His love and I now have no fear of anything in my future. He Is there to pick me up if I fall, promises to dust me off, and if I get threatened by darkness…. He will come with a vengeance when I call on Him.

No need to be proud. Just confident in whose daughter I am.

And why do I share?

Because someone is walking in sin. Someone is playing with fire.

Someone is at the end of their rope and hopeless.

Someone can’t see any light.

Someone lives for others approval and is dying a slow death from lack of identity.

Someone is fighting anxiety and fear.

Someone is lost and needs to be lead.

Someone feels shame and unworthiness.

Someone feels unloved.

Someone is in need.

Someone cannot figure out the purpose of living in this rat race…

And I know The Cure.

There is plenty of need and we’ve been given a voice and been commissioned to “go.”

Why would I ever keep such a secret.

Maybe you don’t see the need now, but you WILL and maybe you’ll remember all the post of His children confidently displaying and sharing the faith they found.

It’s contagious and has the power to transform lives.

God calls us to be a light and to go and reach people saving them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

That LIGHT within is the Holy Spirit and it burns with fury to be seen and known. It’s our job to fan it into FLAME!

So we share with hopes of Gods glory being revealed through us and multiplying.

A city on a hill. Nothing hidden. Blazing with fury to light up the darkness.

Some of the most powerful words ever spoken to me by my Father and I have to add (He said them so lovingly… ) was “ It’s not about you, Erin.”

This was an answer to a pleading question I begged to understand about the meaning of life.

He kindly answered, “This life is not about you Erin.”

With the acceptance of this word from God, by it’s transformative power: I became less and God became more.

And so it is with all of us.

When we stop living for ourselves and begin fully and committedly living for Him, our purpose in this life begins.

There is a need to be awakened to the true purpose AND brevity of this life.

Jesus died on the cross so we could WIN our battles, walk in VICTORY, and go HOME. He equips and qualifies us for a time such as this. We are predestined to walk through these very moments triumphantly. We much choose Him!

Thank you, Jesus! I will fight!

And may I encourage you to seek God in the middle of your loss and despair? It may be the very place He wants you (completely empty) before using it as a means to reveal YOUR purpose and destiny!

🔥⚔️

This is something I wrote a few years ago that gives a glimpse of my testimony.

I believe there is power in sharing our stories. So my prayer is that this might help someone by hearing my words. The enemy wants our testimonies silent.//

Just read these word’s and they resonated deep within me…

“Love is not a feeling; it is a decision.”

In the early days of raising my step sons, I was going through emotional turmoil. In order to be an instant mom at the age of 26, God had to do some major destruction on my flesh. I was the “baby” of my family, and I had been living independently as a young adult up to that time. I hated sharing. I had OCD with cleaning, and I put way too much value on my “things.” I was entering a family that needed so much love and so much healing, and God CHOSE “me” for that job?????(lol). Well… God is God and though those early days were some of the toughest days of my life.God had a masterpiece in mind for those sweet three boys of His.

I was fighting some tough demons in the beginning. I had to completely come to the end of mySELF. I cried too many times to count fearing that God chose the wrong person. I literally hated myself. I wanted to be able to change (from myself) to fit that perfect mommy mold SO bad. I hit my head against the wall SO many times, and I would try,and try, and try again. But, Erin, in the flesh, could not, and would not, ever be able to by herself. I was on a downward spiral, and I was chasing my tail. The thing during that turbulent time that I remember so vividly was having nighmares that the Cinderella story that God gave my husband and I, was coming to an end. I lived days of feeling defeated. I lived days mourning what was to come. I was devastated, and at the end of myself. I felt like I was looking through a window at something I wanted SO bad, but would never be able to touch, or taste, or help, or hold.

God gave me a vision of two little boys when I myself was a little girl. I KNEW God had brought me there. I knew anything besides changing meant being OUT of God’s will for my life because He had given me a vision of them. So to fail was NOT an option.

That story would be the DRIVING FACTOR of literally one day falling on my knees, (and then on my face.. Lol) and giving my LIFE to Christ. And may I just clarify that I had already given my life to Jesus at the age of 19. I had just yet to activate my faith and FOLLOW Him.

I have the memory of that moment burned into my mind. I can see it like an out of body experience.

I told (or begged) God to take ALL of me. ALLLLL of ME…. And committed my LIFE to HIM. I told Him I would do it His way for the rest of my life. I just never wanted to be “ME” again.

The VERY next MORNING, I got up super early and opened my bible and searched for answers like there was no tomorrow.

I have been doing this routine EVERY single morning since THAT DAY all those years ago.

The first book I read besides reading my bible was Just Like Jesus by Max Lucado. It would be the first of MANY that God would use to help transform me. He started with JESUS. ( I think that this detail of what He had me start with is crucial) Jesus was and STILL is my foundation and idol. I still to this day tell Him that I can’t live the life He has called me to without Him…. Without Him filling me every single day with His Spirit.

And back to love being a decision…

There were days in that transforming ( I’ll be transforming until the day I die) but in the early days… That knowing I couldn’t love those boys like they NEEDED to be loved…. I would go to wake them up in the morning, (several mornings) and would stop on the stairs, on my knees, and ask Jesus to love them through me, because what I had wasn’t enough for what they deserved. They needed HEALING love and SACRIFICIAL love as they were coming from brokenness. The love I had to offer wasn’t the kind to penetrate through their hearts and heal, and how could it? At that time I was completely full of SELF. But the defining part is that I WANTED to be different. I WANTED to KNOW this kind of LOVE.

I had to choose Jesus… Lay down myself…. And choose to LOVE.

I did not always FEEL love in those difficult times, but I CHOSE it. It was a daily decision.

Jesus is a daily decision. Putting on love is a daily decision. Resolving to be obedient is a daily decision.

My life is far from perfect, but because of that ONE decision that day, my decision to follow Jesus who IS the perfect example of love, I am able to be a part of that beautiful story I longed to be a part of.

He has blessed our socks off and is still in the process of making a masterpiece. Our story is a story of redemption. God had this plan all along. He through, Jesus, took what the devil meant to devour and destroy, and made it a story of triumph and beauty.

NOW you (all who made it to the end of my rambling) know the reason for my daily obsession of knowing, searching, and sharing the Jesus. He is my PASSION. He SAVED me.

God took this broken girl, and is making me whole, and allowing me to be a part of His story. And for that I owe Him my life.

I could always go on for hours, maybe days, at all He has done in and through my life, but for now I will close with the verse that made me reminisce this morning.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self‑seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (NIV)

Perspective changes when you place your name at the beginning of those descriptions… Re- read the verse with “your name” And let it wash over you this morning.

“And now he has made all of this plain to us by the appearing of Christ Jesus, our Savior. He broke the power of death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the Good News. And God chose me to be a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher of this Good News.” 2 Timothy 1:10-11 NLT

Jesus came to the earth so that we could have the eyes of a Lion and be able to SEE His kingdom among us and to give us an expectant and excited Hope for the here and now AND Eternity.

God used my fathers life going to heaven to give me fresh life. A FRESH life from the Luke warm Christian life I was living. I was walking the walk and had a genuine love and devotion to God but I hadn’t been crucified with Jesus or had the power of the Holy Spirit activated by faith in my life. I was a Christian woman in love with God but aimlessly walking.

Jesus came to defeat death. When we are in Him we are IMMORTAL. We will live forever. We get the honor and privilege of spending forever with Him. We have His constant presence and PARADISE to dream about and look forward to.

God gave me a vision to see things I had never seen before.

Jesus came to this earth to also give us the eyes of a Lion. Eyes that can SEE in this DARK world. A lions eyes reflect the light they have been given. When we receive His light it is then reflected through us ILLUMINATING the path for us here on earth; then we have the ability to not WANDER and live aimlessly but live with PURPOSE; His purpose. HE IS the PURPOSE.

You see Jesus didn’t JUST die for us to get to Heaven with Him, but also to walk with Him, have intimacy with Him, and experience His glorious kingdom on this earth. He came to give us the vision to SEE that. As we live for Eternity NOW…As we follow Him and be lead by Him for HIS purposes, the kingdom will dwell within and among us and what was once unseen will become crystal clear.

This LIGHT and this VISION I have learned comes from PRAYER.

In my time of grieving I had a deep disturbing conviction in my spirit that there was MORE to life than I knew of. I was praying/groaning/crying out to God like I never had before and it was if I broke through a barrier or realm that kept me from experiencing Him and His magnificent full of wonder kingdom.

He answered my desperate PRAYER.

He gave me a vision of a LION and I felt the Holy Spirit speak to my heart, “HE is the purpose of LIFE.”

From that very moment on my life changed profoundly. I began hearing Him. I could hear His voice on a more regular basis and I began seeing traces of His fingerprints everywhere. His word came ALIVE in my heart and He began leading me through it. It’s been a day to day adventure. I have vision to see His miracles everywhere around every corner and I have an anchored HOPE for eternity. I look at dying differently. I look at our purpose differently. The importance of so many things that used to matter lost their luster and their sweet taste. If there is anything that loss does is that it shakes you into a reality that tomorrow may never come.

I am deeply grateful for this awakening.

Jesus takes my breath away and blows my mind on a regular basis and I deeply want others to know of this life. When I tell friends and family of things He has done and is doing I have to start off always by saying, “ I mean it leaves me awestruck but actually doesn’t surprise me anymore.” He wants a day to day RELATIONSHIP.

Experiencing these miracles and having peace and promises to cling to is why Jesus came to the earth and died a brutal death on a cross for each one of us: so that we can TRULY live this fresh life.

Being full of His Spirit is His desire for His children. And receiving the eyes of the Lion is as simple as praying, believing, desiring, and placing your life in His hands.

Follow Me-

Those words used to make me think… ‘follow perfection’.

Follow a road or way or Person who was beyond my ever reaching.

If I’m brutally honest, follow a way that seemed only “those” people took or a less attractive way; a less fun way.

Can I tell you something from what I’ve learned?

You may be experiencing temporary happy’s and high’s…

But you will never be fully fulfilled until you are following Jesus.

And until you’ve personally tasted this fulfillment, you have no idea what you are missing out on.

Think about your most favorite thing in the world to eat.

Now imagine you had never tasted it.

When that food came into your life and you had the first taste you would be thinking, “Where has this been my whole life?”

And in true Erin Hall style that wants to cut to the chase and be real with ya.. I’m going to remind you that YOU have an enemy that wants you only tasting the mortal things of this world. The enemy is here to distort, destroy, deceive, lie, and confuse, and he wants you looking at TRUE fulfillment and saying ‘that looks boring’ compared to what you’ve been tasting.

But friends, if you haven’t truly tasted… you don’t KNOW what you’ve been missing.

Jesus is THE ULTIMATE FULFILLMENT.

And the enemy wants you to believe that there is always tomorrow.

He wants you to forfeit what God wants to do through your life TODAY.

He wants to keep you as far as he can from tasting the bread of LIFE.

Approval, fitting in, lust, envy, pride, ego, self seeking, idols, earthly passions, earthly dreams, money, possessions… he will keep feeding you things that keep you wanting more. They never quench.

Please don’t come to the end of your life and not have given God your ALL.

Please don’t let your life be wasted.

This PATH…

The ONE we are to “follow” He will lead you into His Kingdom and you WILL say, “ whoa, where has THIS been my whole life?” And you will have trouble walking because you will be falling at your knees in gratitude every few steps.

I have a thought often that says what if I missed it?

It brings sad filled tears to my eyes but fills my heart with gratitude.

And it makes me want to spend the rest of my days on this earth helping others find it.

Follow Me.

The path less traveled.

The path that few are walking down.

The path that leads to the upside-down kingdom.

It’s not a trick.

It’s deception that tells you it won’t fulfill.

Don’t fall for it.

Jesus is an intimate, loving, personal leader. He will come to you wherever you are and gently lead you. He will guide you by His whisper, His Truth, and His love.

Surrender your SELF (fleshly, worldly, carnal minded self absorbed..self)

And FOLLOW Him.

He came to suffer and die on a cross so that we could have this true fresh life and relationship with His Father.

I beg you to believe that He would not do that for you to live a boring, rule following, non satisfying, tasteless life.

He did it so that we can be IMMORTAL spending forever in paradise and to be fed this heavenly realm (taste after taste) while we in pilgrimage and in pursuit navigate this ILLUMINATED path here on this earth.

We have to taste, surrender, obey, let Him lead, and FOLLOW. You don’t know what your missing!✨

Last night was a little surreal.

For starters the weather was dreamy. There were a zillion stars visible and a bright moon shining. The temp was like 65.

We were drawn like magnets to be outside. I secretly after dinner (at least tried to be secret) grabbed Mikes ( my husbands) hand in the kitchen and pulled him to the garage where he ALWAYS has country music playing, which ALWAYS makes me miss my dad.

I wanted to dance.

I wanted him to hold me and to take in the magic of the evening. It was oozing with dreaminess.

Of course… child by child migrated outside and dancing turned into silliness and hearts full of gratitude for what God has done in our lives. It was if everything was in slow motion and God was allowing me to completely soak everything in.

The concoction of the evening ALWAYS makes me FEEL my dad.

Not COINCIDENTALLY my neighbor text me to remind me she would be out of town next week and that I wouldn’t be watching my little blessing, Luke. She also reminded me of his birthday next Thursday and like I ran smack dab into a brick wall it HIT me that…. next week is the week 3 years ago that I lost my daddy.

God had shown me about a month ago HOW my dad died on March 1st and how Luke (LIFE) was born on March 1st. THAT moment was surreal and such a gift and EXTREMELY special BEING that I HEARD God tell me to keep a baby in my home.

Already thinking about my dad as I was dancing with Mike, the realization of next Thursday… made the tangibly sweet moments a little hard.

I miss him so much.

BUT…… his life SAVED mine.

His entrance into Eternity birthed Eternity into my heart and I was given fresh life.

My life is full to the brim with purpose and Hope.

Everything in the world began to look different after this idea and vision was conceived. The things I once valued became foolish in comparison to the TRUTH I was awakened to.

And that in a nutshell, that truth, is the reason we are here and the purpose of our lives.

We are meant to be in RELATIONSHIP with our Father. Talk to Him, hear from Him, and even MORE hearing from Him (LISTENING) because He is a very WISE Father. We can stop rambling like little children and find our security in His presence. HE knows best for our lives.

Surrendering to His authority and obeying His gentle whispers will allow His purpose for our lives to prevail over our small human minded agendas and dreams. If allowed He will use us bigger and do through our lives MORE than we can ever imagine.(Eph.3:20)

I want to die knowing my life was used for His purpose. I refuse to leave this earth any other way.

And in three short years I’ve learned that this way of life doesn’t mean perfect outward circumstances… but a deep and profound hope and joy in the midst of them. I actually think it invites or makes you AWARE of persecution, suffering, trials, strongholds, and discouragement like never before BUT you are MORE aware of Whose hand is leading you through them, and also you become filled with a knowing and confident hope in that the end result is good because your Father who loves us more than our human minds comprehend is the Author! You can trust ALL details to Him! And friends, that is FREEDOM. A freedom that often brings me to my knees.

As layers and layers fall from your heart and eyes His Word and whispers will become so ALIVE, so AUDIBLE and VISIBLE that all you see is Him and not your trouble or anything lurking in the valley your walking through.

You will become so confident in EACH step, each decision, each choice, each response, each answer…. because the God of the UNIVERSE is leading you!

My husband went back inside to help our oldest file his first ever taxes and my littles were lured by the calling of popcorn, chocolate milk and a movie, so momma was alone under the big dark sky in complete solitude.

I walked out to the complete darkness and cried a few tears for my daddy. I told God how much I missed him and to tell him how much I love him. Then I just started saying that I understood ALL that God was leading me to and teaching me. A gentle yes ‘sir’ to my Father. I understand the mission, I understand the plan, and my heart and soul felt so full of gratitude in that weepy moment that my earthly body nearly could not contain it.

It’s those moments I now LIVE for. To be in His presence.

I have to contain and remember it by writing this post.

Then this morning as I was going through all the post over the years ON THIS DAY I was moved by a short clip from Steven Furtick.

Pastor Steven visited my church many years ago at Fellowship of The Woodlands now Woodlands Church and I’ve passionately been devoted to his teachings ever since. That was many years ago.

The clip was about a book that he wrote that is in-scripted on my heart called UNQUALIFIED. I deeply resonated with that book and still do!

So listening this morning I caught something I’ve never caught before.

UNQUALIFIED was released on March 1st.

The day my dad got to step into the literal presence of God, the day our little blessing Luke entered this world, and the day ( out of 365 May I remind you) that God wanted to remind me that UNQUALIFIED is His message to ME and the world! But He so out of this world lovingly made it personal to me.

“ I WILL, Father.”

“I hear You loud and clear and I love You with ALL my being!”

I will! I will fight for your Presence and glory to be known. I will fight to use the platform and influence you bless me with. I MAY be unqualified, but I WILL.”

Thank you Jesus for allowing me to come so close. Without YOU dying on a cross for me… none of this fresh life would be possible. I’m eternally grateful.

“No COINCIDENCES”

The other morning in my devotion that I’m doing for Lent a piece of scripture highlighted was “Write down the revelation.” Found in Habakkuk 2:2.

God has spoken to me through this scripture before and I have already taken it to heart. I have journals and journals and my closet is covered with writings. But this time He was confirming a seed that He had already placed in my heart to write down revelations I receive from Him and to share them on this blog.

By NO COINCIDENCE (as in many of my mornings) I asked the Holy Spirit for wisdom and revelation.

I was having a moment with my Father… a tender, emotional, moment of feeling so much gratefulness for the mere fact that He GIVES us revelation. It is the sweetest most undeserved holy gift.

After my study time in my chair I went outside to stand beneath Him as I’ve made the habit of doing in the wee hours of the morning because it just makes me feel so close to Him.

I was just about to go visit Hope City Church in the Houston Area with a beautiful friend.

I was praying out loud and praying with the Holy Spirit. I was thinking and worshipping, tearful and grateful, and was just taking in the special moment.

I specifically asked God to make Jesus’ walk, Jesus’ purpose, Jesus’ life, Jesus’ cross, Jesus’ teaching, Jesus’ passion, Jesus’ love and Jesus’ suffering… personal to me this Lent season like never before. I asked Him to take me deeper.

Saying those words to Him turned into pouring out thankfulness and DEEP almost unexplainable reality of what He’s already given me. I had mini flashbacks so to speak of His fingerprints over my life.

Then, ever so clearly, I heard Him whisper to me, “Erin, what you’ve experienced, My presence, wisdom, revelation, grace, closeness, vision, and LOVE… NONE of it is possible without Jesus. He died FOR YOU to HAVE this FRESH LIFE.”

That moment wrecked my heart. I can’t even explain in words the fullness of the moment and I’m not going to try.

Selfishly I could treasure them in my heart as the pieces of GOLD that they are, but the problem with that is I feel called to share what God shows me.

So in obedience, in the imperfection… I’m sharing here on this blog I’m giving to Him. I’m allowing Him to write a story with my life because I resolve and refuse to die without being used for His kingdom. It may be a little life but I know OUR amazing Father can use it. I just have to make the move. He has my WHOLE heart.