Her Secret Revealed

I was running yesterday listening to worship and got so caught up in the Spirit.

I was in the secret place with Him. My favorite place in the world.

I had a revelation about words that my grandma spoke to me when I was a little girl. She once told me that she dreamed of the day she could dance. A day when the church would allow her to dance.

She was a pastors wife. In my young mind I thought that to mean that her church was against dancing as some southern baptist church’s are. I was always mystified by that rule, so that is what I took her comment to mean.

Nevertheless those words from my grandma Funk seared my heart forever.

So much that after she passed away from Earth I remember thinking NOW she can dance.

NOW I KNOW that Papa God didn’t sear those words on my heart for nothing, because when I was running He revealed to me the bigger picture or the full truth that I didn’t understand as a little girl.

ALL THESE YEARS LATER He sweetly revealed it to me.

This is another little TESTIMONY very much like the vision He gave me of my boys when I was a teenager. It is as if these bits of knowledge and/or visions are impossible to forget. They get supernaturally stored in your memory.

God didn’t have me meet my husband and his two boys UNTIL my mid twenties YEARS LATER! So even in my teen years when that vision was insignificant it popped right up in my mind when I met them.

And just like these words from my grandma, He brings them out of STORAGE and REVEALS to me their true meaning over thirty years later.

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This past year and even more the past six months in my divine resting season, I have craved worship fiercely. Now I know that worship is a posture of the heart and we can worship in everything we do, but I’m speaking of the worship when you get so caught up in that secret place and it’s just you and Him. This kind of worship that I’m speaking of is a little difficult to do while cooking dinner, being a chauffeur, and a referee all at the same time.

I have discovered and said out loud over myself several times that I was MADE to worship.

I know and feel it in my life now more than ever.

Since having these STRONG desires Papa has been speaking clearly to me about not being afraid of what worshipping Him looks like; whether I’m the one worshipping or anyone around me that’s worshipping. When the Holy Spirit moves upon you it may look strange to a worldly mindset, but we have to remember that the Holy Spirit is not of this world. He is not confined to our worldly order.

He has been making sure that I understand this, and that I embrace it.

He has been showing me through random (not random to Him) resources back to back to grab my attention. He’s showing me the importance of understanding this, also validating my deep desires to worship Him.

So to bring this story to full circle I have had many times when I’ve been running that I get caught up in that intimacy with God and have visions of me dancing before the Him.

When I was running and worshipping yesterday having those visions and feeling the Holy Spirit so powerfully (but running in the neighborhood) only able to lift my hands in those powerful moments when I absolutely cannot contain it any longer RISKING “what people might think” if they saw me; I was desiring to be free to break out in full expression of worship.

Right in that moment Papa sweetly out of nowhere gave me revelation of my grandmas words from ALL those years ago only right then in that moment I understood them fully.

She wanted to DANCE before the Lord like no one was watching… just.. like.. me.

In my grandpa’s church, in God’s presence, she wanted to dance but wasn’t allowed.

I’m still in awe. In awe of our Father and how much He LOVES US! How indescribably sweet of Him to give me that revelation right there in that tender moment of me about to explode because I wanted to worship.

After my grandma has gone to Heaven HE is revealing her heart to me and SHOWING me how my heart is like hers.

I’ll just go bawl my eyes out now.

He’s unbelievable.

Such a gift. That’s why I had to write about it.

I cannot WAIT to dance with her in Heaven now.