What I Do With Fear and Anxiety

The other day I was trying to give encouragement to someone that has a history of struggling with fear.

In my desire to help them, I began telling them a story about my youngest daughter, Lilly, who is eleven years old. I was telling them about the conversation we had just had. It was pretty profound.

Lilly has had fear driven tendencies since she was very young. Over the last couple of years I have noticed that she has grown more confident and wrestled with it much less. I refuse to ever label her anything other than daughter of God. She is a child of God that will walk with Him through any fear or anxiety.

However, we just found out that she has to have surgery and be put to sleep for the procedure. When she found out about being put under she lost it. She became completely crippled by fear. She was on the verge of panicking.

I sat her down and had a very serious talk with her. The terror she was feeling took over her body. It hurt my heart to see her that way. She was believing the lie that was telling her that she may not wake up from sleep. Ultimately the fear of death which is the root of most fears.

I get it.

I have so many thoughts about death. I’ll save them for another day. I have to stay focused.

I immediately began speaking TRUTH to, and over her. I know firsthand how we become or feel taken over by anxiety or fear. We all the sudden feel caged, afraid, and helpless. I’ve been there. She needed LIGHT, and she needed her weapons.

Eventually, I got her to calm down enough to listen and to be reminded of what was her truth.

She had lost hold of what she KNEW to be true. She lost hold of the truth she believes. Lilly prays about EVERYTHING, but this came on too strong. That’s often what happens. All that we know goes out the door in the heat of the dark moment.

I looked her in the eye and told her that (((ANY))) fear is NOT God.

Period.

Let that sink in.m

Repeat it.

This fear is coming from opposition. Darkness.

You HAVE to fight it.

It is not OF Him.

THAT realization helps me.

When I realize that I’m letting darkness fester in me, it sort of shakes me from my slumber in a how dare you sort of way.

We have to be active and not just let it happen. We have to walk forward with our swords drawn.

Jesus will give you everything that you need to pull you out and set your feet on a firm foundation.

DARKNESS brings the fear of death. Jesus came to ABOLISH death, and and bring TRUE LIFE to light! Relationship with Jesus is everything.

He will bring you THROUGH the darkness. Fear cannot conquer a heart given to Him. In the dark place you will hear His whispers and His sweet reminders that you know from your intimacy with Him.

I also told her that fear is a liar and that just because she FEELS fear or FEELS afraid she doesn’t have to let it control her. FEAR DOES NOT HAVE THE FINAL SAY.

Jesus does.

She cannot let it dictate her life. It does NOT have control. It is a bully and a liar.

I can say this to her because I have experienced it firsthand.

I then told her my own story or testimony of wrestling with fear and NOT letting it cripple me. I knew it would help her giving her an example instead of just preaching to her.

A few years ago I developed an irrational fear of being in crowds. I assume it developed after the rise of mass shootings. But it festered within me and grew over time and I’ve been tormented ever since.

I could share LOTS of incidents, but the most severe and most recent was when I took the girls to the ERA’S TOUR in Nashville.

I nearly had a panic attack. After we were IN the stadium my heart was racing, and I could feel my heart THUMPING IN MY CHEST.

It felt like my world was shaking out of control. My thoughts were out of control. My breaths were heavy. On top of the fear of being in the stadium in the midst of thousands of people, I THEN feared what would happen to my girls if I panicked. The unknown makes it even worse.

I knew if I entertained the fears they would get stronger.

I felt trapped. It was ludicrous, but so real and so powerful.

The idea of an active shooter in a full stadium WAS VERY REAL TO ME. It was more real than when I feel it even at a football game. Crowds trigger the fear.

All I could think in my mind was how I HAD to beat it. I PRAYED. I prayed HARD. I took deep breaths. I knew I had to THINK about truth.

I KNEW where it was coming from.

I KNEW it was irrational.

And I was NOT going to let it steal that special unforgettable evening with my girls.

So I prayed. I preached a sermon to myself. And I said, “NO!” to what was coming against me.

I reminded myself of the promises my Father had personally given me.

My very personal promise from Him is that I will always walk in peace, because He will continually shower me with His presence. And He does. He does over and over. He is so faithful to me. He is so real and present. I just cannot see Him with my natural vision, but I felt Him.

I reminded myself of the visions He had given me to hold on to for a time such a this.

I reminded myself that I was NOT alone and that He was with me and for me even though I was struggling to feel that in that moment.

Every time fear came to the surface I said, “NO!” And I didn’t entertain the thought. It was so hard.

I felt like throwing up, but I wasn’t going to let it control me. I refused. Fear is NOT my master.

Jesus is my master and I carry His peace.

After the hard part of walking in faith I started seeing God’s signs everywhere. Realizing His powerful presence my heart was overwhelmed with His special love for me. When the creator of life breaks through the natural realm to save “me”… it wrecks me every single time.

He is so good to me.

His goodness brings me to my knees.

His presence gave me clarity and shattered the fear. “Ok, Papa, I got this,” were my final words.

I know that anxiety, fear, and depression is debilitating. I’ve seen it my entire life torment people.

I am not at all trying to say that fear an anxiety is easy to control. I’m just telling you my own personal testimony.

I’ve learned after many years where to focus my attention in my trials and I wanted to share with hopes it might encourage even just one person.

Lilly and I have a movie that is very special to us and in it a quote that states, “there is no courage without fear.” We will feel fear. It’s the moments that follow and our reaction that matters.

Where does your heart turn?

In those moments of feeling fear we are to take courage. We walk through it. We BELIEVE. This is what we train for. This is our OPPORTUNITY to walk in faith.

When I am shaking HE is not. I have to find my way to His outstretched arms.

FAITH is what we have as Christ followers. THIS is our opportunity. Where the rubber meets the road.

THIS is WHY God wrapped Himself in flesh and showed us THE WAY.

He showed us how to demolish the fear. He gave us tools. Declare truth. Speak it. Say it over and over until it conquers your thoughts.

I’m sure fear and anxiety will come again in Lilly’s life and my own. But because of Jesus we have victory.

That victory is everything that you actually believe and the depths to which you believe it. It’s how real it is to you in GO TIME, not when everything is going smoothly.

God created His children with VERY powerful minds and tells us over and over to meditate on truth. To train our thoughts. To train for those dark moments.

He gave us PRAYER to anchor ourselves to Him.

UNCEASING prayer. A non stop conversation with your Father. He wants us to always be saturated in His presence. Not just where we turn in difficult times.

Jesus was anchored to His Father and lived in constant awareness of His closeness and we can too!

In the moments that fear and anxiety try to rob us of our sanity or peace, we don’t have to give in and label ourselves and feel defeated.

You may have to fight, but you will have the victory. He will hold you and cover you.

I think the best medicine is to work on your relationship with your Father. To obey His Word. To DO the things. To walk with Him moment to moment. To learn to hear His voice. This is what He came close to give us. This is why He endured the cross. He deeply loves us.

God is greater than my fear. I’m not stuck unless I stop.

Have courage. Don’t be afraid. God is with you wherever you go.-

Joshua 1:9

Fear and intimidation is a TRAP that holds you back. But when you place your confidence in the Lord, you will be seated in the high place.

“The fear of God is the death of every other fear; like a mighty Lion, it chases all other fears away.”- Spurgeon

“The only thing to fear is fear itself.”- Zootopia

“There is no courage without fear.”- Mulan